it's all over now but the recovery...

yesterday was a wingdinger and the following may be TMI, so enter at your own risk.

it could have been much worse and i am extraordinarily lucky and grateful beyond anything i can express here.

however, there were a couple times yesterday when i felt in much deeper than i thought i could handle.

my misconception of this out-patient-no-biggie procedure as the equivalent to having my wisdom teeth pulled was utterly shattered within the first thirty minutes. (i should clarify that the removal of my 4 wisdom teeth in one sitting was a walk in the park--no major issues at all. the dentist said they rolled right out. plus, i have a very high tolerance for pain.)

at st joe's everyone was helpful and friendly and funny and caring! i honestly believe to the tips of my shoelaces that i could not have been in better hands.

when they took me to the holding room i was a little nervous... nothing i didn't expect. we started getting situated and she mentioned the i/v. really? gonna need that? really necessary? i thought i was getting gassed. uh, no, sugar you're going down all the way.

that is my weakness, needles and i/vs. a nurse who drew blood from me once compared my expression to a look of someone face to face with freddy krueger from a nightmare on elm street. it is the same every time: i freak out.

next, she started going through my procedure for the day. the first sentence out of her mouth include the term DNC. WHOOAHHH. wait a moment. i'm just here for the ablation. sear my uterus and set me free. NO SCRAPING. WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

Nurse Ginny was a sweetheart. she explained to me that apparently my doc decided that it would be helpful after seeing my records. this isn't uncommon, she assured me. i think i stared at her for 30 seconds before i even processed everything she'd said. well, okay. it's not like it really matters, right?

do what you need to.

Nurse Ginny rocked. she got me all ready and was a dream with the i/v. i yelped like a kicked puppy, but it was more because i made the mistake of glancing over at what she was doing. admittedly, it didn't hurt, but for the rest of the time i was attached to that damn thing i refused to acknowledge that i had a left hand. that part of my body no longer existed.

then i waited for the anesthesiologist. while i waited, i read my camera club handbook. since i'd just officially become a member, i decided this was an excellent time to further understand the submission guidelines. it was a fabulous distraction!

then came the call that i'd been bumped for a baby delivery. well, not a lot you can do about that now can you! funny thing is that the first appointment that i'd ever had with this doc was postponed after i arrived to find out he'd been called to an emergency cesarean for twins. you go, doc!

i read and texted. then the anesthesiologist arrived. he complimented me on my hair color. charming, freshly divorced, handsome and with an accent so thick i was lost. but, i did hear breathing tube. WHOAAHHH. what? really? suddenly, he could have been the prince of wales and i didn't like him. but, he made me laugh and assured me that it'd be out before i woke up. i recalled the struggling my mom went through when she had heart surgery last year...hours and hours with that tube. luckily she didn't really remember it though it was sheer torture to watch her pain as she came in and out of consciousness.

let's hope i don't have trouble with anesthesia.

and so i waited. i was crazy relaxed and panicked at the same time. what a wild little ride.

Nurse Ginny came by... we chatted. she mentioned the catheter. OH FFS. lovely. this just got better and better. again, out before i'd wake up. i looked at her and said, are there any other doohickies ya'll plan on attaching? docs gonna send a scope up have a look around, do a dnc, do the ablation and we're done. i wasn't sure i was buying it, but i was too far in to run like hell now.

then the phone rang and the fun began.

they gave me my double margarita and in less then five i was being wheeled down to surgery prep. i assured everyone else waiting for "procedures" that the cocktail rocked as they wheeled me by. oh dear.

once i got to prep, i met my surgical team. we had a grand little time. i told them that i was totally bummed that i couldn't shoot the procedure, and man, i could get some EXCELLENT shots for brochures at work... oh yeah, i told them where i worked and all about it. chatty kathy had arrived for the party.

when the doc got there, i think it tried to high five him, but i'm not sure. i do know that i gave him a hard time about the dnc, but i've got absolutely no clue what he answered. it was good night, irene.

then someone shook me awake and i bolted up. dude, are you already done?? yes, said the nice nurse who promptly pushed me back down. but, i was ready to go. she closed the curtain and told me i had to stay in recovery for at least 30 minutes. so, i went back to sleep for maybe fifteen minutes.

then i could hear them talking, then they opened my curtain and all bets were off. i was awake and chatty kathy was back. i started crackin jokes with other ladies in recovery and someone started giggling about my halloween socks. mwhahaha! 30 minutes into recovery, i heard a nurse on the phone... someone come and get her and call her ride. hehehe, are you talking about me, i asked? yup, time for you to go! they ripped off my wiring and except for the damn i/v, i was free. woohoo!

it didn't take long for me to knock back about a gallon of water and a bag of pretzels. emily came and soon they wheeled me out. nice formula one wheel chairs at st. joe's. just sayin.

emily was awesome and got me to my drugs and some food and then home. i've only taken two pain pills since the event, but i'm a little on the shaky side.

i'm not a fan of hospitals, but i remember how my dad was--hootin and a hollerin with the nurses and doctors. no matter how bad it got, dad was always laughing. i know he was with me yesterday inspiring some laughter.

now that it's behind me, i'm glad i did it, and there's nothing left but the recovery.