I HATE TO HAVE BLOOD DRAWN!!!!!!!!
yes, i'm a big baby and i care not. i have never in my life consciously allowed blood to be removed but once. and that, pals, didn't go very well.
this year, i've made six trips to my local quest diagnostics. i've survived them all without fainting or hurling. everyone has been wonderful... noticing all the telltale signs and being extra quick and kind. thank you, thank you, thank you. i've been thinking about sending them xmas cookies.
then, i got a letter that said, "we've discovered a problem with your vitamin D test that may have caused a problem with your results." WTF? the letter told me to come back, my doctor wanted it rerun and it would be free! FABULOUS.
i signed in 15 minutes early and remarkably was called in 5 minutes later by a very soft spoken phlebotomist. oh, good this is going to be quick! i'd arrived without my usual queasy anxiety. i thought i might have this issue licked.
not so fast there, racer x. my phlebotomist had forgotten her glasses so i helped her with computer work and figuring out how to register my test without registering me. all this with my big smile and understanding. ten minutes passed before we were all ready for the phlebotomist who moves like molasses in february to come take my blood.
i sat in the chair, pushed up my sleeve and explored just how far i could turn my head to find a distraction on a plain gray wall. after that it was torture. it hurt, it hurt, it took FOREVER. i started to see the pretty little stars and broke out in that cold clammy feeling that screams... WE ARE GOING DOWN! oh dear lord, you're still in my vein! this is one test, one vile right? i made peace with the fact that i was losing it. still in my vein, eh? get out, get out! GET OUT!
"i'm sorry that i hurt you." she was out.
i pushed everything away put my head between my legs. breathe. breathe. breathe.
"are you okay?" she said.
i popped my head up and pushed down my sleeve. "sure, i'll be fine. no problem." i said with the biggest grin i could muster. i slinked behind her and told her to have a great day and wished her luck without her glasses.
through the door... out the door. must feel cold air. "excuse me.... yes, yes, thank you.. have a nice day.. merry christmas to you too!"
release... to the car... to the car...
in the car, i screamed... NO, I'M NOT FUCKING OKAY. GO THE FUCK HOME AND GET YOUR FUCKING GLASSES YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
5 minutes later i drove to payless and bought a pair of boots.
now, i'm okay.
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