everything is moving faster than i can comprehend.
and i don't even have kids.
i'm constantly taking photos or editing photos or working on advertising collateral or gathering assets for production or attending a photog function or going to a doctor or emailing or texting or twittering or facebooking.
i'm utterly clueless without my calendar. it dictates every move i make.
today, i... meditated for an hour, researched places to stay and booked a car for my trip, edited photos, did a couple lightroom tutorials, got an oil change, returned clothes, made a quick search for black pants for my "wedding uniform", went to the church for next weeks wedding, met with the groom and discussed the itinerary, drove the itinerary and took test photos and scoped out locations, checked in with a sick friend, caught up on emails and photog blogs, spent three hours converting, preparing and loading files that will be uploading to an ftp site all night....
during all of this i managed to catch 2 football games in the background...
and i finally i ate something that wasn't soup.
i haven't belly danced in a month, but am supposed to be in two performances in november. i've not even seen one of the dances yet.
last night, i slept four hours and i'm not anywhere near tired. i've not slept more than 5 or 6 hours a night in weeks. i worked straight through two days of being sick last week.
sometimes, i feel like carol anne looking into the white snow of the tv and talking to "them" in poltergeist. it's hard to stop. i have managed a few moments of silence... but... it's hard. i know it's about work flow... i'll find a rhythm. i'm as invigorated as i am exhausted.
there is a lot of good here, and i'm happy to have all of this going on. i've met the most incredible photographers who have been incredibly generous and are becoming great friends. i'm learning and creating and loving this.
but, i'm also running like hell and praying for a miracle.
does it make it acceptably healthy to be aware of that?
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