eggs benedict...

i'm a survivor of runaway bride syndrome. well, the julia roberts version anyway.

it's really easy to meet someone and become very interested in their tastes, their preferences, their experiences. it's easy for some of us girls to lose our identity.

i've met such interesting people in my lifetime. i've absorbed interesting music, art, design, books, hobbies, sports, religion, politics, philosophy. fascinating people have helped me build my unique and quirky ME-ness.

i believe that it's a good thing to make friends with different types of people. my goal is to become a kaleidoscope of thoughts and tastes: i like variety. i want to select from everyone those things which intrigue me--that i want to explore.

however, i've been known to lose my own identity in relationships. i get so engrossed in the exploring, and i'm so easy going about it, that suddenly i realize one day that i'm nowhere to be found.

a couple of years ago, i spent a good deal of time exploring to see what my own flavours and tastes are and answering the question: what do i bring to the table? i like to compare the process to the scene in runaway bride, during the montage, when juila roberts' character is tasting eggs prepared in different ways because she's always eaten her eggs the way her current fiance does. she has no idea what she likes.

exploring and collecting are important. self discovery is important. hanging on to your identity in any relationship is equally important, at least in my book.

today, i was sifting through music thinking about what sort of music a new friend of mine would like when a really loud alarm went off in my head. this is how it starts and a way of thinking that becomes a habit. instead of choosing what i thought he might like, i stopped to consider what i, the girl who came before, what did i want to hear?

i must remain mindful that i have something to offer, and by the way, i'll have the eggs benedict.