lunch chatter...

a friend and i went to lunch today, and of course, dating came up.

we were talking about how for all our "feminist" and "independent" ways, we get a little tired of being tour director and life planner in our lives. i think it's awesome when a guy asks me if there is something that i'd like to do, but to be honest, i'd love it if he'd start things out by making the plans. soon enough, as i got to know him, i'd be at the table with all sorts of ideas. probably too many. seems odd maybe, but i've heard this from others.

the funny things is that when i was dating before i was married, i didn't date. i dislike "dating". i was a group dater... i always met people in groups. one on one, i sort of go a little deer in the headlights--i seem to forget how to ask questions and communicate. it's worse if i like someone. for someone as chatty as me, that's nearly false advertising.

the other thing we were talking about is that "screening" process known as the on line profile. my friend reminded me that when we were dating without the internet, when we met a guy, we didn't know his political views or list of interests--it wasn't printed on a flyer he'd hand to you at the bar. but, we did know if there was attraction. we probably knew from across the room.

it could be sort of like romeo and juliet, or randy and julie from the movie valley girl. he could be a punk rocker... and me... well, not exactly a valley girl, but you get the idea. one never knows-sparks could fly between the least likely of pairs.

then, i agreed that taking it one date at a time is a philosophy i can live with, and we polished off some tasty eggs benedict.