starting again in 2010...

how many times can i start over?

how many times can i clean the slate and clear away the clutter of yesterday?

how many times must i pose the questions before i find a real answer?

i believe in my potential.

i believe that i am realizing my dreams.

i believe love, passion, and playfulness can live in the same heart.

i believe that a kiss can reflect the soul.

i believe in taking your hand and taking a risk.

i believe in this moment and living here in it.

i believe in myself, and i believe in you.

it's never too late or too soon to tell you i care.

in this past year, i've learned who i can be, what i can do, what i want and what i don't. i've learned how be comfortable in my own skin and how not to need or feel obligated to someone.

this year has given me the highest highs and crushing lows. i cried when i realized a life long dream, and again, when i finally accepted what i fought and denied to distraction.

there were times when i didn't think that things could get worse... and they did. but, then it was countered by something unbelievably exciting. the work i've done is paying off, and the future is coming into focus.

thank you for sticking with me this year... for jumping on the crazy kymberlie wagon and tightening your seat belt. i can't wait to see what is ahead!

i wish you a very happy new year...
kymberlie

ps.. it's a blue moon into 2010. the next one isn't until 2028. take a moment to look up and enjoy it!

pps... the picture is of me sitting on the rocks on the coast of maine. the waves were crashing and just to the left of that island in the distance is the atlantic. since i was a teenager, i've dreamed of being right there. i sat on that rock for a very long time watching the sun peak through the clouds and brighten the ocean... i was truly at peace.

a couple of notes...

IMG_8632, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

this is my favourite pic from robert and jessica's wedding. when the officiant announced them, jess actually turned and pumped that bouquet.

jess is a hoot, and i'm so very happy to have her in the family. i'm also glad because rob seems to be especially partial to her, and well, that does help.

next, because i'm set on tormenting myself, i've signed up for the january nablopomo. yes, make no mistake, i'm certifiable.

the theme for january is "best". i am allowed to interpret that in any way and... i will. who knows what is to come, but it's sure to be a daily treat.

christmas is over, and i have to admit, it was lovely, but i'm pleased as punch that it is winding down. i am grateful for everyone and enjoyed all the laughter and food! however, at some point, the sparkle sort of wore thin amidst the rushing to get everywhere.

now, i'm looking toward 2010. i'm not one for resolutions. i prefer to set a goal. this year, i've a few, but the big one is simple--move to freelance and photography: get out of the cubical. i've got 365 days plus 2. let's see what i can do. you know how i love a challenge.

future of the orient

IMG_5162, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

i see a lot of "different" styles of dance, and what i refer to as performance art that is birthed from middle eastern dance.

at the show that i shot earlier in december, this guy came out on stage and did something with a crystal ball. he rolled it all over and managed to keep it spinning, then he added fire. not dancing, but graceful as all get out and in a crazy, unexpected way, it impressed me. you can click the photo for more pics.

there are many levels of talent and performance... i try to keep an open mind. :)

merry hoho!

DSC02308, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

i'd like to wish you all a happy holiday! no matter what you celebrate, how you celebrate, or even, if you celebrate... take a minute to stop and look around. just be in the moment and shift your perspective. look at the world through the glow of christmas lights.

isn't it lovely?

remember... love is a verb--exercise your right to hug at least once a day, either before or after you brush your teeth, but don't forget!

xoxo... peace is fuzzy socks on a cold and rainy christmas eve!

ps... happy birthday, dad! i love you and miss you...

a merry misfit...

i tend to see myself as a Hermey or a Bumble or Rudolph... i never quite fit the norms, and i'm snug and comfy on my isle of misfits.

this is my first holiday as an officially single woman in 26 years. that seems a little odd to say, but this is the first one without a serious boyfriend, fiance, or husband. i wasn't sure what it'd be like; turns out, it's a non-event other than my marking it here. but, i think it's worth noting because, well, it's something very new and different.

i have learned this year that i didn't know jack. i've never been about xmas from the mall; however, i've been a mad little elf baking and knitting and painting and ohhhhh! but, this year, i'm quite simply not "doing" a thing... i was troubled by this for weeks. then... the lesson emerged.

i thought that i knew what was important, but instead of the insane elfing (yes, it's a verb), this month has been full of developing new friendships and being a friend to my oldest and dearest. there have been hours at dinner, over cocktails, and marathon emails, texts, and phone calls. this has been the best holiday season ever!

the gift i have is my time... time to listen, time to hug, time to celebrate and toast--YOU! and the gift you give me... is that you join me in my merry goofiness!

and now? i'm going to toddle off into the heart of the isle of misfits--to the kitchen to whip up some xmas bark and cookies because it's snowing outside and i want to fatten you up for the winter!

Happy Birthday!

i know that it is extra late in the maritimes, but i'd like to wish a very happy 70th birthday to Mr. Easter. i hope that your birthday is a memorable and delightful event. it has been my great pleasure to get to know you through your blog and the stories your son has shared with me... i wish you great joy and many blessings.

my best...
kymberlie

life is not a dress rehearsal...

a long time ago, i had friend named Lisa. i met her through Lama Lobsang. she came for yantra yoga and sunday evening puja. we chatted and there were lots of giggles in yoga. we were both a part of the kitchen table discussions that led to the Blue Beryl Dharma Center.

then life offered Lisa a new path. She went to Thailand on a vacation and while she was there she found her calling. when she came back, it was obvious that her heart was in Thailand and her life as she knew it before the trip was over. ultimately, it was very difficult in some ways for Lisa as she was married at the time and her husband was not going to move.

i was absolutely in awe of her certainty. i couldn't believe that changes so drastic and deeply emotional could be made. but, as i learned only a couple of years later... that is exactly what life is about.

today, Lisa is the director of the Thai Freedom House. i hardly recognize her in photos anymore, but finding your passion is the true fountain of youth. once we do that and grab the reigns of our life, all the baggage of our stuckness falls away.

Lisa's heart is huge and the depth of her willingness to help... remarkable. if you can help the Thai Freedom House... that would be appreciated. regardless... take a look at the website if you have a moment and thanks for stopping to read this. :)

Reno and me

i joined a gym.

haha, yes. if you know me, you may now pick yourself up off the floor and stop laughing. i've barely used it in the two weeks i've been a member. i also bought four sessions with a personal trainer... hahaha. see above.

let's revisit why there are people laughing right now.

i hate doing anything that has the word reps associated with it. if you say, do (insert number). i think you're a boring old bird and before we get to 10, i'm already making the grocery list. i need to be engaged creatively. yeah. that's it.

i don't run, either. i run to ice cream trucks and from fires. you've all heard me say that. why? because in grade school, i got torn to shreds by miss applebaum for not being able to keep up with the rest of the class--this is what happens to fat kids. she also tormented me relentlessly about not being able to climb the rope and most of all for not performing my nemesis... the pull up. she even made the class stay after one day until i did all ten of them. bitch.

i was 75 lbs heavier and was never confident enough to go anywhere near a gym. i've always been the fat kid, fat girl... girl with a great sense of humour... blah, blah, blah. attractive people went to the gym.

add it all up and there you have my reasons for not going to the gym.

i would, however, dance, jazzercise, yoga, skate and walk all over the world.

in 2006, bam! weight fell off. was it the right time in my life? were the stars aligned? i got on weight watchers on a lark and it worked like a charm. though i'm pretty sure that last ten pounds is never going to come off. what the hell, 75 is damn good.

back to Reno. he's my insanely soft spoken, kind, young, optimistic and hot (in a 23-year old way) trainer.

i've seen him twice. both times it took 3 or 4 days for me to be able to move without groaning. we've had lovely chats about exercise and diet and what i've been doing with my life and how i ended up at the gym.

i DON'T have an answer to that one, Reno. my best answer is that i've lost the weight, and i want to explore some options here. plus, everyone that i know is running or riding a bike. i want to look better in that damn bedlah i dance in. that bedlah torments me.

Reno, who i do not blame, reviewed my "week of food" log. he was very impressed. (i'm apparently more knowledgeable than your average bear about food and exercise. this is my only glowing moment in the gym.)

however, even though i'm a shop the outside of the grocery girl who consumes fish, fruits and veggies more than most wildlife... it's not enough. good grief, man! he's tweaking my diet even more. but, that's cool too--i'm all about making the diet better. i could border on health nut if i didn't have some unexplained affinity for pizza rolls.

my only complaint with the lovely Reno is that between sessions i'm not doing anything but dancing--if i can move. he doesn't use the machines, so i'm doing push ups, lunges, and all manner craziness in the basement with the football sized dudes. holy moley! did you read that? the heavens just broke open and pigs are flying.

so far, i'm glad i signed on. but, i've got to admit, it's still really hard to go into that gym alone. i've not done it yet, but when i post this blog, i'm going to change and try again. i still feel like the fat girl that miss applebaum taunted and chastised.

but, damn it. i earned this. i will find a way. i always do.

lunch chatter...

a friend and i went to lunch today, and of course, dating came up.

we were talking about how for all our "feminist" and "independent" ways, we get a little tired of being tour director and life planner in our lives. i think it's awesome when a guy asks me if there is something that i'd like to do, but to be honest, i'd love it if he'd start things out by making the plans. soon enough, as i got to know him, i'd be at the table with all sorts of ideas. probably too many. seems odd maybe, but i've heard this from others.

the funny things is that when i was dating before i was married, i didn't date. i dislike "dating". i was a group dater... i always met people in groups. one on one, i sort of go a little deer in the headlights--i seem to forget how to ask questions and communicate. it's worse if i like someone. for someone as chatty as me, that's nearly false advertising.

the other thing we were talking about is that "screening" process known as the on line profile. my friend reminded me that when we were dating without the internet, when we met a guy, we didn't know his political views or list of interests--it wasn't printed on a flyer he'd hand to you at the bar. but, we did know if there was attraction. we probably knew from across the room.

it could be sort of like romeo and juliet, or randy and julie from the movie valley girl. he could be a punk rocker... and me... well, not exactly a valley girl, but you get the idea. one never knows-sparks could fly between the least likely of pairs.

then, i agreed that taking it one date at a time is a philosophy i can live with, and we polished off some tasty eggs benedict.

walking 40/64

IMG_2484, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

they are opening the highway tomorrow and i am beside myself with joy. i kid you not, this is a highlight of my crazy, unpredictable, havoc-wrecking year.

so i went out into the cold. i walked the highway. i took pictures of my city-mates. then i bent down, kissed the ground and thanked the universe that i survived these last two years without harming anyone in my daily fits of road rage.

here are the pics.

model shoot

IMG_8969 copy, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

trying to pick one of these to post was really hard. i really dig a lot of these shots. this shoot was so much fun, it's insane.

the event was at the artist's guild in clayton. there were 4 girls and 4 locations set up. there was one place that i didn't get to shoot but a couple shots and i was really bummed. there was a guy who monopolized the room, so i found other creative ways to work and never got back.

the meetup group that organized this had all the lighting and it was the first time i worked like this. i LOVED it. i felt really good about working with the girls. there were only a couple of us women who were "on the floor" shooters. (that is i call someone who is willing to work the room and not just stand in one spot, point and shoot.)

what was fun about really engaging the models was that they would visibly loosen up and start to enjoy themselves. i learned a lot about giving direction--the girls were pros and could take minimal direction from me. this is something i really, really need to work on and desperately want to, but am not sure how.

i'm not kidding you... the 3 hours flew by and they had to literally turn out the lights on me. click the picture for more shots!

throw down...

i've been meaning to post this series for a while and was recently inspired move it up the list.

i flew into portland, got to the pier, and started walking... first shots i took on my maine trip were of this guy.

oh yeah, he was miffed. it took two serious efforts to get the anger out, apparently. i forgave him for the sneer he gave me after i shot this series. i'm a sucker for moppy hair and a scruffy face.

i walked to the end of the peer and watched these guys a little more, but brooding dude never got back on that board. he just sat down and stared at it while everyone else avoided going anywhere near him.

whupsie...

i was doing so well. then i blogged about doing well.

naturally, i tanked after that and even managed to miss the last day of the month. whupsie... i got distracted.

NaBloPoMo was a blast and i'll continue it though there are no more prizes until next november. who needs prizes? i don't need no stinkin prizes. i need BUCKS! :)

personal note: i alluded to good things happening a bit ago. i will continue to allude though i've been asked a couple times... i allude, mon ami! but, i will tell you this... i like the direction things are headed. :)