having the "cougar" convo...

a friend of mine and i were bantering about older women being so attractive to younger guys. i told him that i wasn't interested in being a "cougar".

i've been so ticked off about this for so very long that i decided to purge this anger for once and for all by simply posting my reply to one of his emails.

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yeahhhhh, no. not for me. i had a 33 year old ask me out and even that made me nervous.


i'll tell you exactly what set me off. there was an article a couple years ago in the RFT... they used the same art for a cougar column that they ran. well. the women that they interviewed were so NOT like me and were REPRESENTING me... i've never read the rft again.


this sort of thing really is rare with me. usually, i could care less about all that stuff. i came about as close to calling a writer as i ever did after reading that article. they did not represent a true cross section of women over forty who date younger guys. the image that was created couldn't be further from me than my genetic code to an actual cougar.


to be utterly blunt, it pissed me off, and now my (online dating site) email is full of guys who think i'm some tart.

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further and in full disclosure for debate...

i've always been a rabid supporter of the RFT. i am not blaming them or the writer. they merely contributed to this lovely new cultural mindset.

at the time that article came out, i had just ended a serious relationship with a guy who was seven years younger than me.

i did go out with the 33 year old. he is very interesting, happy in his own skin and insanely attractive. i would love to go out with him again.

my issue is with the new crop of guys who have developed the mindset that because i'm over forty, look younger than i am and am "adventurous" that i'm a two martini piece of tail. this is a big part of why i shy away from the bar scene.

the amusing thing is that i'm not all hung up on the white picket fence, find a mate forever mentality. i do like a guy unafraid to take risks with curiosity and adventure in his soul. being appreciated for my experience... well, that is truly an aphrodisiac in it's own right. it's not always easy to find this in my age group and that makes this all the more difficult. living in the gray area isn't all that easy.

though merely hearing the word "cougar" makes the hair on the back of my neck go up like a shot. it isn't that i'm opposed to what it represenst. not at all. i could date a seriously younger guy for a spell. i could... if that damn RFT cover doesn't haunt my dreams like Freddy Krueger.