random:
i've decided to keep myself planted in my little studio for another year. this is not an excuse to stop contemplating my future, and i am leery of the work thing, but i've decided to try it, as a friend suggested. i'm happy here, the price is good and there is something oddly "right" here. so, i've decided to make some cosmetic changes and use this stability as a firm launching pad for the next level of my creative endeavors.
i've figured out why i'm struggling with my focus. i'm on the cusp of achieving success. i've got a real fear of success and am rather good at self-sabotage. my resume reflects this acutely. i'm very close to doing what i really want, and frankly, that will be something i've never done before. unfortunately, being a little smarter about myself is making it like a nasty cat fight in my head. i can't recall ever feeling so confident and simultaneously so inept. you might think knowing oneself would make it easier to call oneself out and get over it. yeah... no.
also... i got this book for my birthday from a dear friend called Art & Fear. it is uncanny how timely it is this book enters my life and the first couple chapters have so perfectly addressed issues i have... sometimes things are just right. ;-)
1 comment:
Woo-Hoo!!!
Post a Comment