i've lots of ideas for blog posts; however, as is painfully obvious from my lack of recent posting, little time. i think life is a series of little epiphanies, so here are a few things rattling around in my head...i'm constantly assessing my photographic skill level. i absolutely love the st louis camera club and find a lot of valuable information offered in the presentations, specifically on photojournalism nights. the critiques can be invaluable learning experiences if chosen wisely.
i often take the classes offered by the camera club; i really appreciate them and i have learned lesson upon lesson. but, as with anything, i think the time has come for me to move along. it isn't that i've reached a point where i'm not learning anything... oh, i am, believe me. it's just that i'm craving a more intense, specific, commercial and professional input. unfortunately, those classes are expensive--but i think i've found a place to try. i think it's time to do some serious networking and work, too.
in three days, three people who are good friends told me that it's time for me to stop taking classes and get experience. they are right. these are not the type of people who blow smoke--they have always been very frank and honest with me. with that in mind, i've decided to do just as they suggest. it's in little pieces and forming in a smokey cloud, but there is another change coming for me. i can't hide anymore and i need to get paying work. i'm starting to want more lenses, lighting equipment... and more than anything--i don't have time for my full-time job anymore.LOL
speaking of which, i've found some peace--sort of--with my full-time job. i need it right now, but i'm not stopping the search. i did some design work recently and it reminded me just how much i enjoy and miss it. i'm painfully underutilized in my position and i've grown tired of spending eight hours a day in a coma. my friends are also really sick of hearing about it, and i don't blame them a bit. there is a balance here, i know it. i have to find one until i can convince someone else that i'm just incredible and they NEED me. :)
completely unrelated... i used to wonder why my Lama married the woman that he did. i love her... don't get me wrong. she is a powerhouse of ambition, dedication and conviction. but, she was a little louder and frenetic than i would have expected a tibetan monk to chose for a wife. please understand that i mean no disrespect to them. this was just a question that i used to ponder.
when i spent a lot of time with them, i was married. my marriage was insanely mellow. we were both dedicated to tibetan buddhism and i was the more frenetic of the two of us--but still it was a pretty quiet existence. my Lama and his wife moved away and i got divorced--change is the only constant. the other night i was watching The Buddha on pbs and it occurred to me that the Lama's wife was a perfect compliment to him. i don't think it is necessarily a good thing for both partners to be "calm" or "frenetic". i think it's okay for one of each in a pair. better yet, i think it's okay to switch up that role periodically.
that brings me to a personal point. i met a man a few months ago who reminds me daily that every day is unique and exciting by living my favourite mantra... love is a verb. the dude, as i like to call him, is the reason that i've dropped off in my blogging, my facebook, my twitter... it's been a flourish of us and i am unabashedly flush with the excitement of it. a very close friend told me that she is just so happy that i've met someone who is on the same page as me and as excited about me as i am about him. that's a very good point; this is certainly something very different for me. but still we strive for balance... one day at a time... present in the moment of each of them... we are happy. i am happy.
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