Sunday, January 27, 2008

Blank Pages

In kindergarten, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never hesitated, an actress... or a waitress.

As I grew up and I really began to think about that question, I decided on radio. I plotted and planned how I would eventually own a station in Los Angeles.

Not so gracefully derailed from radio, I moved on to the hospitality industry. I performed great feats to make for the perfect visit to St. Louis.

Then I went to college where I was going to make music videos. That led to the English degree for a future feature writer who settled on administrative assistant.

Today, my sights are set to graphic design and photography.

One of the most important moments of my life happened the day I walked through the doors of Westminster abbey and stood at the grave of Queen Elizabeth. That was the day I realized that I could do anything.

In my mind, I see myself living on the east coast, near the ocean. I work on my laptop while sitting on a rocky beach.

In my mind, I see myself cozied up with notes at a coffee shop in London listening intently to a conversation at the next table.

In my mind, I can feel the accordion play and my body perform the perfect jewel in choreography of my own creation.

In my mind, I'm taking a shortcut through Central Park to an important meeting and I smell the fresh cut grass.

In my mind, I can see the shadows of the skyline build patterns across the tall walls of my loft and I can hear the soft, clear notes rise from the jazz club below.

In my mind, I'm serving dinner to my closest friends and there are at least four different animated conversations going at once.

I hear birds, I hear coin scarves, I hear silence.

I smell pot roast, I smell gardenias, I smell incense.

I see mischievous dark eyes, I see a kitty swirling around my ankles, I see my dad.

I want to create. I want to help. I want to conduct. I want gush. I want to sing and dance. I want to stand in awe of great works of art whether on a canvass of cloth or stone. I want conversations about politics, philosophy and literature. I want to feed my passion to learn. Then I want to teach. I want to make a difference. I intend to fill each page of my life with something that touched my heart.

No comments: