Rodrigo y Gabriela

i'm simply smitten with these two!!
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oblivious

okay, i heard it on the radio, but only half listened. i was only half awake. i'd stayed up too late and was running too late to make coffee. whatever it was, didn't sound like it would block my path so i blew off the rest of the info. i did, however, think there was an awful lot of helicopter action around my apartment. oh well, happy monday.

i got to work and one of my friends called me wondering how i got to work and what i'd seen. huh?

turns out i live around the corner and just beyond the zone of evacuation from todays maplewood disaster.

on my way home, i drove behind the filming news crews and marveled at how making a right instead of left at one corner can really change your day.

dixie chicks?

i forgot how good it feels to listen to the dixie chicks.

sometimes when work turns into an uncontrollable ogre, i like to put in the earbuds and jack up the volume. i treasure the ability to use music to turn a frown upside down.

it makes me feel hidden in a land of cubicles. while another department is having an impromptu karaoke session, i have a blessed escape.

and oh, how empowered i feel after a little dose of good bye earl. gawd love em, the chicks really know how to make you tap into that diva in control that's buried under too many email requests and people hoovering over your shoulder.

how about some black-eyed peas, earl?

coming home?

i call it home, but i'm not so sure it is anymore.

i'm at a point in my life where i can make changes. the planets are aligned and i'm primed to jump. i just need to decide what changes i want to make and what degree of difficulty to make the dive.

standing on the high dive, i've been bouncing on the edge too long. no, i'm not afraid to jump. i just can't decide which dive to make. i can make a dive i know well, or i can be bold and do something different.

this is an awesome place to be and i'm not knocking it by any means. i've worked very hard to get here and struggled with demons both real and imagined. now, it's just a matter of inviting my intuition to join me on the platform for a little synchronized diving. it's time to reach inside and find out what i want--or what i might want.

what dive to make?

funny little friendship necklaces

you know those little heart shaped necklaces? the ones that are cut into two pieces for "best friends"?

i always thought those were incredibly cheesy. until about an hour ago.

i guess i never really gathered the full value of friendship until the beginning of my 40th year, and tonight, it finally clicked into place--the understanding of unconditional friendships.

i know that i have friends i can count on, but i'd never really tested that. however, this past year and a half i have called in favors and leaned on shoulders. i've taken my troubles and tossed them to the floor like pieces of a puzzle i could not sort. i have felt the pressure ease as others helped me define the borders and sort through the pieces.

i've learned a valuable lesson, that friendship is more than birthday cards and saying you'll be there if they need you. to truly flex the friendship muscle and make it buff, when things go to hell, you have to know you can't do it alone. you must take them up on that offer of help.

when that happens, something beautiful emerges. you become one in a way that only people who wear the jagged heart necklaces can. all the pieces fall together and there is peace, serenity--a silent understanding of who you are and a joy in not only knowing, but being.

and there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone, that there others wearing jagged little heart necklaces--others who in some way complete you.

these hips were made for salsa!

this was certainly the best workshop i've ever been to.

first thing this morning we did a bit of cha-cha--i had to warm up to it. without coffee, that footwork was a little tough. by the time we tried mombo i was totally awake and digging it. i got a little carried away--having way too much fun! but the salsa. that was a surprise. we spent a lot of time learning a choreography and i found a natural grove in the rhythm.

the funny thing is that i actually considered blowing off this session of the workshop. what was i thinking!?! when i get home, i think i'm going to explore more salsa... so watch out ladies and gentleman...

the second half of the workshop was scarier than any other part--even trying to learn the choreography. the second part was on facial expressions mostly--we did a variety of exercises to help us convey a "mood". since i'm the happy dancer, i had real challenges with things like sultry and mysterious. i just had could hardly control the giggly button. in the end, it was a pivotal part of the experience. i think i learned a lot.

now, i'm hanging with my buddies d and craig--the coolest couple in the whole world. we went out for dinner and had the best time. it's so nice to be in their company again. i've missed these guys!

workshop and gala show

i have to admit that i have a girl crush. bozenka is the venus de milo of belly dance. soft spoken, kind, patient, polished, graceful, accomplished in a variety of dance styles... not to mention captivating to watch and incredibly beautiful.

definitely a girl crush.

the first half of the workshop was difficult, but in a sneaky way. we were half way through the first combination before i realized how hard i was working. there are mostly professional/teacher dancers in this group and she's teaching that way. but bozenka knows just how to make it feel easy even when tripping over your feet and drenched in sweat. you just don't want to let this woman down.

we learned a terrific extended combination and spent a lot of time on technique and polish--the sort of thing you don't get beginner classes. it was extremely helpful.

emily and i saw a tad bid of charlette when we set out on our safari to find lunch. oh we walked a lot. places were NOT open and as it turns out, charlotte is not really a pedestrian friendly place. such a shme.

but the show.. oh fantastic and bozenka danced twice. we sat behind her husband, who turns out be really, really swet. he's a musician and really an easy going guy. bozenka was so funny--she was all nervous about him being in the audience. so cute, eight years they've been togther

well, more workshop tomorrow and d's coming to get me... ahhhh the relaxing!

houston, it's a go!

yawnnn

i'm exhausted, but wired. less than four hours sleep for 3 nights in a row followed by a 13 hour drive should leave me a zombie.

mmm brains....

trip good. we left town under a rainbow at 7 am. emily is a trouper and a fantastic travel partner. she came with dead on directions and a smile on her face.

we got into town about 10 and let me tell you, charlotte has a beautiful skyline. we are at the crowne plaza (thanks to the entertainment card) and we are loving the plush beds, carpeting and towels. the bathroom is as big as the room missy and i had in chicago.

we are both a little nervous and really excited about the workshop. bozenka is awesome (check her out in my friends). we both want to do really well. we're right across the street from the workshop, so we're going to get to sleep in.

peace....

brutus? your roots are showing

i haven't tried it, but i've known about it for quite a while. i work in an office of 11 very frank and feisty women.

as a faux-signer and faux-writer, i like to keep up on the trends. i was tickled today to spy this article on my colour lovers rss.

this ladies, and gentleman, is a link about a little something to make the carpet match the drapes...

do not look at this at work. :)
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coming out on the other side...

There is a strange peace in my mind.

I went to the pool this afternoon and it was different. Nothing had changed, but I am different. When I emerged from the water, I felt taller. I felt confident. I caught someone's eye and I smiled. But, it wasn't the same.

I walked to the grocery store tonight and it was different. Nothing had changed, but I am different. I walked through the heat and humidity, but couldn't define the boundary between my skin and the atmosphere. My grocery bags felt like bags of feathers.

My world is a hectic one and it is about to become more complicated. Nothing has changed, but I am different. I made my list for the week without angst, without panic. I will face what comes as it comes.

Something was mended today. Deep in the workings of my mind, my heart, my soul there was pain, like the pain of a broken bone that has not been set. When I wasn't paying attention, the pain was yanked away. And the healing is happening very quickly.

I had no idea that I had been holding on to that pain so tightly. I could have let go a long time ago. Should have. But, did not.

I'm talking to you, like I do all the time. Nothing has changed, but I am different.

I am no longer sad.

passing thought

heat... brilliant sun... stress... alcohol... explosions... red glows in the sky... surprising rapid pops...

for me it's the fourth of july.

what is it for a veteran?

looking south

I work in a corporate mouse maze. Five buildings, one two story, all attached by windowed corridors. I don't know whose genius idea or what ridiculous study was consulted, but everything is grey—cubes, walls, carpet. But there is a quad with a little fountain. And my secret spot.

Every day at 10 and 2, I leap from my chair and walk at a break neck clip through all five buildings and the quad. It's my way of rejuvenating. Not just the walk but the interaction. I get to smile at people who only know me as the girl who runs through the halls. I feel lucky that most people I see respond with such warm hellos and smiles.

Some days I need an extra walk. Like today. I'm nervous and excited and freaked out and scared and thrilled. And there are fantastic clouds putting on a show in my secret spot.

On the second floor there is a giant window that spans the whole south side of the building. It's right above the receptionist and it's an atrium so the light is always stunning. There is a half wall banister that hides two forgotten comfy chairs. When you drop into them, you're facing the south and the spectacle of sky—AND no one can see you. You are completely hidden.

When I need a moment, I run the building and drop into one of those chairs and watch the south sky. On days like today, it's not just a spot for me to gather my thoughts, but the atmosphere is so incredibly complicated and active you just can't look away. It's a wonderful place for daydreams and today, my imagination is joining the sky in its tumultuous display.