OMG the trauma!

Monday morning, tah dah, paper on the door announcing the yearly bug killing fest.

They sprayed our apartment building for bugs today. Pull out everything under the sinks and from the lower cabinets... check... checkity... check... if you have a cat, remove it or cage it. whah? That was at the bottom of the flyer and I didn't read that part until 11 pm last night. Max? Take him to work? That wouldn't work.

Cage him? ummm. okay. I'll come back at lunch and let him out. That cat carrier is reaallly small. He'll be howling all day.

Later that night.... my neighbors were up fighting their genius little heads off. HE (the mystery man from hell) screamed at my poor, ever so ditsy neighbor all night. "You're F'n crazy (insert name). At 2 am. 4 am. 8 a.m. I laid in bed thinking, no shit, Dumbass. Have you met the woman you're co-habiting with? So, compound the crazy lady and her man's "let's live together in a closet issues" with my anxiety over my cat and the fact that I had an appointment for my car, too, which I now had to cancel..... on and on in my head. Turn it off!

At 8:30 this morning I covered Wagner. Dude, you'll be fine. This stuff won't hurt animals... they say. Okay, Max. It's your turn. I set the carrier next to the doors for full sun, put a bowl of water in the back of the carrier, scrunched up a soft old t-shirt and picked 5 giant sprigs of catnip. Here kitty, kitty....

He followed the catnip in and click... I promise I'll be back. Please be a good stoned little kitty.

Work, work, work. Anxiety ensues. I must check on my cat. He's probably wailing at the top of his crazy little lungs. Work, work, work. Anxiety. umm, I have to go.

No I can't stay for lunch. I must free Max.

That's when my ever-so-level-headed co-workers orchestrated an intervention.

"My cat stayed in a carrier for hours. He'll be fine."

"Duke went his whole first day by himself yesterday and didn't pee in his cage."

What if Max pees on me in the middle of the night again? That was unpleasant.

"He's fine, I'm sure."

"My cat is often asleep in the same spot when I get home as when I left her in the morning. He's asleep."

But what if he's howling?

"And wake up the crazy lady and her guy who are now sleeping after keeping you up all night, REALLY?"

Okay, pass the potato salad.

And so I slinked in at 5:30. "How's my little man?"

mew. mew. MEOOOOOOOOOW.