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In kindergarten, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never hesitated, an actress... or a waitress.

As I grew up and I really began to think about that question, I decided on radio. I plotted and planned how I would eventually own a station in Los Angeles.

Not so gracefully derailed from radio, I moved on to the hospitality industry. I performed great feats to make for the perfect visit to St. Louis.

Then I went to college where I was going to make music videos. That led to the English degree for a future feature writer who settled on administrative assistant.

Today, my sights are set to graphic design and photography.

One of the most important moments of my life happened the day I walked through the doors of Westminster abbey and stood at the grave of Queen Elizabeth. That was the day I realized that I could do anything.

In my mind, I see myself living on the east coast, near the ocean. I work on my laptop while sitting on a rocky beach.

In my mind, I see myself cozied up with notes at a coffee shop in London listening intently to a conversation at the next table.

In my mind, I can feel the accordion play and my body perform the perfect jewel in choreography of my own creation.

In my mind, I'm taking a shortcut through Central Park to an important meeting and I smell the fresh cut grass.

In my mind, I can see the shadows of the skyline build patterns across the tall walls of my loft and I can hear the soft, clear notes rise from the jazz club below.

In my mind, I'm serving dinner to my closest friends and there are at least four different animated conversations going at once.

I hear birds, I hear coin scarves, I hear silence.

I smell pot roast, I smell gardenias, I smell incense.

I see mischievous dark eyes, I see a kitty swirling around my ankles, I see my dad.

I want to create. I want to help. I want to conduct. I want gush. I want to sing and dance. I want to stand in awe of great works of art whether on a canvass of cloth or stone. I want conversations about politics, philosophy and literature. I want to feed my passion to learn. Then I want to teach. I want to make a difference. I intend to fill each page of my life with something that touched my heart.

Yes, I'm the cat lady...

so i'm a cat lady. i'd have a gagillion if i could. but, i've never had a sick animal that needed daily attention.

i surprised myself with the thoughts i had while waiting for the vet to get back with test results. what i was willing to do for this animal and how important he was to me?

was i willing to give him insulin everyday? needles are an unbelievable issue for me. what if he was so sick, i couldn't make him better? when did i really notice that he was loosing too much weight? what would it be like not to have his constant annoying mewing? what if i really couldn't afford to help him? or could i?

only an animal... not really.

i've watched friends spend lots of money on an ill animal. i've watched people dote and focus and maybe take the whole thing dangerously close to what i thought was over-the-top.

but, they are friends, companions, family. i didn't realize how much of my every day this little animal was until now. we know each others moods and habits. he greets me and relies on me. he wakes me in the morning and nudges my cheek before we curl up and fall asleep.

luckily, it's a thyroid issue with a couple pills a day. but, that visit to the vet was a little reality check.