Be Not So Fearful...

i needed this today and in case you do too...


from Wilco

Be not so nervous
Be not so frail
Someone watches you
You won't fail

Be not so nervous
Be not so frail
Be not so nervous
Be not so frail

Be not so sorry
For what you have done
You must forget them now
It's done

And when you wake up
You will find that you can run
Be not so sorry
For what you have done

Be not so fearful
Be not so pale
Someone watches you
You won't leave the rails

Be not so fearful
Be not so pale
Be not so fearful
Be not so pale

You must forget them now
It's done

And when you wake up
You will find that you can run
Be not so sorry
For what you have done

Be not so sorry
For what you have done

as simple as tulips...

DSC03993, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

i did one of those "25 random things about me" lists on facebook the other day. i've been thinking about number 23: i love to get flowers, and i think that the most romantic place in st louis is the art museum.

i do love to get flowers. i'm a practical girl, but a hopeless romantic at heart. nothing quite sends me over the top like flowers arriving at work... especially tulips. that sort of action isn't really a part of my world these days, but that never stops me from surrounding myself with flowers anyway. hence the flowers in the picture.

and the art museum... yes, i love forest park and the view of the great basin from the steps of the museum. i'm also a big fan of the portrait room. i love to sit there and talk. the museum is so full passion and color, and it's got something for everyone... yup, that's the spot for me.

with whispers of valentine's day starting, i was thinking about how we show affection. when i was very young, i knew a guy who sent me flowers all the time, left notes on my car and took me to the art museum often. i think that sort of set the bar for me--not those specific actions, but the attention. my heart still skips a beat when i see paper under my windshield... of course, these days it's only a parking ticket.

thinking back, i can remember some very creative valentine's days... like a room full of balloons (which scare me to death, btw) and the contents of an entire soulard flower stand all through my apartment. a single rose and a kite... the thought of a spring day in the park? yeah, the kite was a winner.

things bought are nice, but i've always been a maker. whenever i can, i like to make a cake from scratch, make cards and i love making personalized coupons. (here's a little tip: if someone gives you coupons, use them... really.)

probably the worst valentine's day i ever had included a delightful dinner at charlie gitto's followed by Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf at the Rep. problem was the food poisoning i got half way through the second act. whew! that was awful, and i never have seen the end of that play.

i hear the rumblings of the coming holiday and i get a little sad. not because my only potential "date" is Max, the cat, but because we put so much stress on ourselves. too much money is spent and anxiety created, IMHO. a trip to a bed & breakfast would rock my world, but i don't think you can beat a little romance every day. and that can be as simple as a text... or slipping a note in a pocket.

it really isn't hard. it's as simple as tulips.

happy, but not quite right?

i love this song. i love this video. i love their sense of humor. i'm sharing this with you cuz i think it's totally worth the 2:31 to watch it. i may have done this before, and if i have... no apologies. here it is again.

Jr High Park

Jr High Park, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

yesterday was a beautiful day!

more pics here

Aradia

Aradia, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

i only wish Aradia's face were in focus. i love this shot. i took 430 pics last night and only came away 36 semi decent shots. if you look at them on FB or my flickr, i've not done any editing to them except cropping them. i shouldn't have bothered even trying to shoot the show, but i just couldn't help myself. then, walking away with this only hurts.

i need to bite the bullet, decide on a camera and just buy it.

a passing thought...

it is good to have something that you enjoy. it is better to have something that you are good at and you enjoy.

i attended a belly dance workshop today that was fantastic and taught me new ways to do moves... this is the way every workshop is for me. every single one has kicked my butt, but been worth every drop of sweat and every aching muscle.

at some point today, i realized that even though my life has been very confusing and generally unhappy as of late (gosh, that sounds pathetic), the one time that i am always happy is when i'm dancing.

dancing has never let me down. it rewards me for every ounce of effort i put into it. it's not just the fantastic friendships and the pretty costumes. there is a sense of pride in myself and a general joy that simply comes from somewhere deep inside.

i never thought that i'd have anything that i was good at. i'm not a pro or half as good as my heroes, but i am good. and it's something that i can call my own.

not all good...

i think that everyone in my life teaches me something... about humanity or myself. not all lessons are warm and fuzzy.

recently, i realized just how frustrating it is for me not to have any control in a situation. i've always found a way to compromise to get something i want. that's what i do, find an answer. but, sometimes i can't have what i want or there is no answer. i just didn't know when to throw in the towel. accepting failure, or i should say, not getting what i want, is a whole new idea to me... but, obviously one that i needed to learn.

i just wish some of these lessons didn't leave me feeling like a fool.

declaring myself...

i like to try new things. i don't like to sit still very long. i get a wistful expression if i ever think that i won't be able to try something. there's just too much to experience and too many things to see.

i had a PE teacher once who handed out sheets of paper with a list of things... sailing, fencing, traveling, cooking... oh it was a three column list on one side. she told us to look it over and bring it back next time with all the things we'd like to try checked off.

at the next meeting, she collected the papers and reviewed them. after class, she handed them back and explained that this was a bucket list of sorts to remind us to try new things. when she got to me, she said, "i don't think you understood. you checked everything." i laughed and said, "no, i just hope i live long enough."

that happened when i was maybe thirty and it's as vivid a memory as any i have. whenever someone asks me if i'd like to try something new, i remember the expression of disbelief on her face and i say yes. long ago i lost the list, but i never needed it anyway.

Why Not Now?

DSC03026, originally uploaded by MisfitHue.

So that's the question that followed me down the River Road. Why Not Now?

Change officially begins today for the US.

What about you?

driving home...

takes longer with me because i stop for lots of pics! Here is Quincy and Hannibal. And here is Lover's Leap, Clarksville, and the Missouri River Road...

gosh, what a beautiful and interesting day... why haven't i gone north before???